Aurorin & Mook: Year 2

Another year went by and in all accounts, was a better year than the first.

9/9 was our 2nd wedding anniversary and this year, it is Wilk's turn to plan how we shall celebrate the occasion. I dutifully tried to turn a blind eye as the day approaches but about a month before, I suddenly had a nagging feeling that my darling botak hubby may have actually forgotten about the whole event. Still, i bit on my tongue and did nothing (at the back of my mind, i was hopeful that he was just faking it and wanted to surprise me) but when he rather casually asked what do i want to do for our anniversary, i must say that i was just a tad bit disappointed. Anyway, i rather off-handedly reminded him that it was HIS turn to do the planning (as i had done so the previous year), the start of his phobia of planning surprises for his picky wife began.

To be fair, I honestly did try to help him along by not second guessing him and try to ruin the element of surprise for him (i really could if i wanted to, you know...) because it is not often that my dear hubby gets all kancheong and riled up trying to plan a surprise for me (mainly because, as he said, he is not good at conceiving and planning surprises). Hence, it was with great relief (for him) when he finally told me, a week before our anniversary, that he had everything sorted out. Well, i must say, i was really really eager to see what he had in store for us. And, honestly, wilk couldn't have planned a better anniversary for both of us and i was in tears before we even started 'celebrating'.

The plan was actually quite simple. My otherwise practical and pragmatic husband had booked us in for a romantic 3D2N stay at the beaufort, away from our friends and family. And on top of that, a romantic dinner for two at The Cliff. I know money isn't the main thing but to blow off that kind of money, especially at this time (with all those reno and saving constraints), was simply something which I definitely have not hoped for or expected. And it was absolutely one of sweetest thing that can happen to a woman when her hubby professed that he would do whatever he can to give his wife anything she deserves, even if she does not ask for it.

But, the best present I received on our anniversary weekend, wasn't so much the lovely resort stay, the dinner nor his love declaration, it was a goofy little card he has written which 'hid' the clue of the surprise anniversary present (Letters spelling out "Beaufort" littered across the whole message) and an unassuming CD enclosed within it. All the time, he kept berating himself about the 'lame clue' ( No it wasn't lame dear!) before he made me play the CD in the card after i had 'solve' the clue to our destination and reached Beaufort's carpark. At first i did not hear anything, then came a voice which took me a while to realize, was actually myself, talking from the CD. Next thing i knew, "I" was bursting into song, the very song that i sang on our wedding. Wilk has secretly went and cut a CD of our songs recorded on our wedding. In doing so, he had 'captured' our very first 'surprise' for each other (at the wedding) and made a surprise just for me for our 2nd anniversary.

Understandably, i burst into tears, then and there, on a friday afternoon at Beautfort's carpark, wondering how on earth could i have thought that this botak, funny, gentle, caring and wonderful person, has a not-so-acute sense of romance and ingenuity. I guess surprise and romance is all well and good, and we can all think of 101 ways to devise various means to out-do one another in creating a semblence of romance and surprise. But what i learn is, truly, it is not how elaborate the surprise is, how much money is spent and even how 'unique' the idea is, because nothing beats the little things that came out from a caring and earnest heart which loves with patience and understanding.

Happy Anniversary dearest botak hubby.

I know when it comes to my turn to plan for our anniversary next year, i will probably not be able to get it just so perfectly as you did this year. Nonetheless, i will strive to love you better, in more ways than you deserve, and perhaps when i achieve that, my surprise for you will also be just as meaningful and special, as yours had been. *muaks*

One Week Later

Trying my darnest to be up-to-date with my blog but struggling really badly, especially now that i have taken to leaving my laptop in school after work rather than lugging it home and back to work the next day. The computer at work just 'cannot make it' and i would rather keep my work on my own laptop anyway. Things at work was pretty hectic... Don't even have time to check my emails, much less blog during lunch time or otherwise.

Anyway...

Was an interesting sunday last weekend (26/8) when we went down to Little india to catch part of the Singapore Art Show.

Was a very meaningful project because it actively got the migrant workers gathering at Little india every sunday to participate in the various activities. It was a side one seldom seen of these foreigners who came from various parts of India, Bangladash, Sri Lanka and China to work here in Singapore. It is amazing that when given a voice, what many of these silent people would say, through their masks, photographs, writings and paintings.

Wilk and I was just mingling amongst the participants and artists, taking photos and chit-chatting with them. There were curious onlookers and serious artists/painters among them, and many came probably not thinking to get involved but couldn't resist having their photos taken or portrait painted. There was a volunteer translator who happened to visit the show and thought that it was really meaningful and hence stayed to encouraged his fellow foreigners to pick up a paint brush or sit for their masks to be made by one of the artist (Amanda Heng), every sunday.

The participants which fascinated me the most, were those who took up the paint brushes and canvases avaliable to make their own paintings. Often the paintings depicted their homeland and elements of nature (e.g. bird on a twig), one of the men even painted his village home which he had left for the last ten years, to work as a construction worker in Spore. Through their paintings and notes, a touching tale emerge from these migrant workers, one which is seldom heard or seen as we passes them by, by the roadworks and Singapore's numerous construction projects.

Perhaps as one rapidly developing country (I hesitate to say 'developed'), i feel we often have a huge propensity to ignore, belittle, those who came from a country "less-developed". It has become a standard by which the locals follow and these workers expect. It was with great encouragement (from one of their own, nonetheless) before some would pick up the paintbrushes or sit down with the artist, bewildered at giving a chance to say something, to create art, to be viewed as important and bemused perhaps at the eccentricity of these artists, because this is something out of their normal way of life in Spore, and out of their expectation of how locals would treat them usually. In any case, the carnival will go on every sunday till the 23rd Sept from 4 to 7pm, at the field infront of Mustafa. Worthy to take a look and a stroll, and perhaps like me, you will also feel touched and humbled amongst many of those who have helped created Singapore's many 'World's Best'.

From Little India, we jumped to another local culture one seldom have a chance to take part of except during the 7th Lunar month of each year. The Ghost Festival Getai happening each year is another culture which only seems to involve a certain population in Spore (I do not mean just the 'invisible' kind). I must confess that, despite knowing of them, it is one sub-culture which i did not readily take to (likewise many of my peers) due to our SES and perhaps religion differences. Again, it was another humbling experience for me, being a non-hokkien speaking, deity worshipping pseudo Sporean (Msia PR but who can really tell).

I've always known of Getais and even seen one but never up close. Perhaps it was Royston Tan's 881 which spark this revival of interest in this, what some say is a, declining sub-cultural practise every year. I must confess though, I watched this getai prior to 881 and it was the getai which propelled me to watch 881 instead of the other way round (I was thinking it wasn't worth the ticket and probably just borrow's someone's vcd when it was out). It was a last minute decision to catch the getai at AMK Industrial Park 2 last sunday night with leonnie, my colleauge, but boy, was it a great night. Incidentally, the very first singer we saw turned out to be leonnie's cousin!

The host was Ah Nan and we managed to inched out way right to the side of the stage where we could catch the action first hand. Now i know what they mean when they say they have to 'gan chang', some singers actually ran to the stage and when saw that there were 1 or 2 more singers waiting, would hurriedly move off to a next show. I saw elaborate costumes on young and not-so-young glamourously made-up getai singers. Two of the singers (who was on the sunday lifestyle section of the TST) was also there and their costumes actually had extendable pieces and looked like it belonged on some cabaret show off broadway! Most of the songs were in Hokkien and I bemoaned the fact that i am not well-versed in the langauge to appreciate the lyrics though i could more or less get the gist of the earthy jokes and exchanges by the host and the singers. However, i am proud to say that i've heard most of the chinese oldies sang and could actually sing along to some of them.

Wilk and I will be trying to catch more getais before the end of the 7th month, perhaps one hosted by Lin Ru Ping, Lim Li or Liu Ling Ling, who are some of the most 'bankable' hosts in the circuit. Hopefully we can get to sit up front to take photos the next time.

National Day Weekend

So it is a long weekend but unlike some of my colleagues, didn't get a chance to go on a short trip away from all these hustle and bustle. Still, it was a nice break from work and something that i've been looking forward to.

Spent half the morning on the day before national day, looking after some of the students in school where we had a mini ND Concert. Well, not quite mini since it lasted almost 2 hours and the marquee was pretty much jam-packed. It was hot and clearly, not what some students can 'tahan'. Not surprising then that some kids ended up in the air-conditioned classrooms the whole time. Anyway, i did my part entertaining some of them who couldn't tolerate the noise and the heat by being a mobile bubble machine by the sidelines where it's cooler. At least the kids was engaged by the bubbles... can't say much about just watching songs and dance you don't understand amidst the crowds, noise, waiting time and heat.

Then it was half day off for all of us and I spent it singing KTV with LS and Anita... PS was supposed to join us but in the end was unable to. Oh well, it was fun nonetheless. 5 plus hours of non-stop rock and rolling good time. Wish the rest of the weekend was like that but well... couldn't complain. At least it was peaceful and... quiet. Didn't even get all excited by the whole NDP thing by the bay nor wanted to join the crowd at the various spots to wait for the fireworks. In the end, just sort of watched it on TV while i was reading a new book. Heard it was pretty good though.

Saw angie and my cousin on saturday (swimming in the late morning with angie and dinner with cousin)... both are pregnant, perhaps 1 mth apart from each other. Quite funny how different woman would go ahead preparing for the big day but regardless of the difference, their joy and anticipation for the big delivery was pretty apparent. Another colleague of mine is also planning to get pregnant and she already has a schedule to adhere to... from the pre-pregnancy tests for her and hubby ($256 per person at thomas medical), those necessary shots (rubella, TB and all that) to her must-give-birth-before-this date. Seems like tons of things to do and prepare for.

Our colleague from India was alittle shocked about all the things to do just before getting pregnant because she said, some people in India would never have been to the doctors from the time they get pregnant till the birth. Well, "but this is Singapore", I reminded her, though i am not very sure that if all Singaporeans actually go into that much details. I am just a tad bit blown away by all the 'planning' as well... but i could be the minority. Right now, there just seem to be other things i ought to pay attention to then when to have my shots, find out which gynae is better, or which hospital have better delivery packages.

离开地球表面

Just bought Mayday's new CD. Very very happy and love the new songs, especially '离开地球表面‘。 Really makes you want to jump and leave behind all those silly, stupid, irritating things surrounding one's life. A good heady song to bop to while driving. I am sure Leonnie will be happy sitting in the car and finally hearing a different Mayday CD for a change. :)

Been playing pool also. Realized that wilk is alot better than I... it is sort of irritating but not because of the fact that he is better, but that i felt he is only better by fluke! Grrrrr.... but i think he will disagree... I don't know. Maybe he has his methods within the madness but from where i stand, it looks like freaky lucky shots to me. Sigh. Perhaps i am just jealous. Bleah.

So... work. Nothing much to say. Everything is as it should be. Oh. Did i mention that 2nd in command quit? Ya. Man... how... predictable. No big deal to me of course since i don't make it my point to make it be a big deal but some of those last minute 'subtle' hints to shape and control my realm of work does make me want to break something around me. No matter. In the end, what really counts? Certainly not a person who talks big and loud, but turn over and play dead right after. We all have our own cross to bear, so wish people would stop dumping their cross on me now that they have a chance to get rid of it.

Everyone is surviving in school. I am bug senseless at times by events and people here and there but nothing that makes me want to bang my head in frustrations yet. YET is the keyword here i think. The other PPGs are coping more or less but judging from their daily expressions, it wouldn't hurt for holidays to arrive sooner before they become more or less NOT coping. We still hear from Fei once in a while, and is eagerly anticipating more photos from her wedding photoshoot. Also awaiting her big debut as a lady boss once she finish up all those course and seminars.

Other big news... Angela is surviving in aussie... but i think she is feeling like things could be better (hey, just like us here in spore!) and life more stable with a future to look forward to. And, guess what, Kat decided to fly the friendly skies and just recently cryingly bid her kids goodbye. Big move but i think there is only that certain window of opportunity allocated for those selected few who can make it pass the not-so-friendly entry requirement of our local homegrown airline.

Parents are in Vietnam holidaying and Wilk is back from Germany. I am stuck in Spore wishing i could be somewhere else. Looks like the furthest i can go at this moment, is probably sentosa. Or tuas. Can't jump out of this little island... much less the Earth right? Well, i guess that's why i look forward to holidays and listen to Mayday CDs in the meantime.

Oh. How can i forget to write about this.... presently at least 3... or is it 4... of my friends are now blissfully pregnant or have just given birth. Wonder if this is some super hot season for us dragon ladies to have kids, but it is certainly giving my parents funny ideas which result in fairly explicit hints. Thankfully my in-laws have not gotten the wind of this 'interesting' chain of events or they would probably start on our case as well. Did i say probably? I meant most positively. Anyway, perhaps at a later stage but right now, this is one issue which i do not wish to confront. So... anyone else pregnant? Please don't tell me or my mom or my dad or worse... my in-laws.

Orangephoria

Painted our cement floor last week with Orange (yes you heard me right the first time..) epoxy paint and definitely threw a new dimension to the whole space. Wooahh wooahh.. it is seriously orange man... but so cool! Now the floor is shiny, smooth and ah.. orange! The dining table and bench (cum shoe cabinet) is also in (above pix, bottom left corner). Also in a funky black with orange underside. Thinking of whether to put castors under the bench so that it is easier to move it around, esp with the shoes inside, but that is going to wreck the sitting height. Hmm still considering.

Anyway, even the concrete counter top of the sink is also in orange now. Looks quite nice with the black/orange sink. Also up is our open concept worerobe from Alumix. Was highlighted by friends that clothes may get dusty, so we will monitor the situation and see how bad it is. For now, we like things pretty 'open'.

Well, what do you expect from people who will put glass sliding door to their own toilet? Incidentally, the reason the toilet bowl can't be seen in the above picture is because we have moved our fridge and alumix's cabinets into the toilet due to the painting of the floor.

The custom-made stainless steel bed frame and mattress were also in but the guys who did the bed frame needed to haul the whole thing back because the edges of the plate (for the mattress) needs to be more rounded and one of the castors under the bed needs to be changed because the brake was stuck. Should be back by next week.

Last weekend, we have also put up wilk's 2 lightbox transformers on the wall opposite the front door (we call them our 左右门神) and 1 in the study. They are bigger than we anticipated and quite intimidating. Ought to scare away bunglars i hope. Hahaha hopefully by next weekend, we should be able to start moving back all the appliances, get the bed back and fix up our shelves/study table/chairs from Ikea to complete the rest of the flat. Might need to fix some stuff on my own though because wilk will be travelling to Germany for a conference and taking the chance to catch the once in 5 years documenta held there. So he will be flying off this friday and staying for about 10 days. Hmm maybe i will just wait for him to come back. :P

Moving out

Haven't been blogging much lately even though it was the holidays because:

1) I was constantly bugged by another colleague to do things (for pete's sakes! Its HOLIDAYS! grrrr).
2) I have training and meetings to attend.
3) I have another blog to entertain myself.
4) I hate having nothing but bad news to write about.

So...

Moving out. Not me but Fei... the colleague whom i rented out one of the rooms to, has quitted and moving back to Malaysia. At the precise moment as i am typing this, she is getting ready her stuff and waiting for her fiance to come pick her up. Seems like its only been a while when she moved in, but she just reminded me that it has been 3 years. Gosh, time really flies.

Wonder what i will do now that one more person has uprooted from my life. I guess the immediate effect would be, i will not have anyone to vent about work anymore at dinner or on the trip home from work. No more company home after badminton/dinner. No more ally in that crazy nuthouse we call school. No one to share the burden about work and dealing with buggy colleagues. No one to understand the situation and see eye to eye with. Man... it's starting to feel that life is a little nasty to me this half of the year by taking away the two people who really helped made my work life less heavy.

Still, it is not like i am not prepared for it. It's great Fei is moving on but seriously, it sucks for me personally. Hahaha. I think i am depressed but then not that depressed because i am quite numbed already. Usually i don't get emotional with such occasions because it doesn't seem to help in anyway. I coped by keeping a straight face and avoid dwelling to much into the emotional aspect of things, steel myself up and take the next step forward. Moping around will have to take place after the dust settles down in my own private space. Perhaps that's why i hardly get anxious about things and seldom flustered. However, irritability and frustration does tend to get ahead of me most of the time.

So what will happen tomorrow now that Fei is leaving? I don't know. I guess tomorrow will still have to happen somehow. I myself is just hanging in there, doing the best in what i believe in and trying to manage what i can one step at a time. Less help means more innovation. Less support means working smarter. Less ears to listen means more blogging. I'll get by... not forgetting there will still be others around that has helped me along and will need help to hang in there too...

Still, a little way more for me before my journey ends... got to keep moving forward.

无声胜有声

Occasionally, it is much better to be silent than to be heard.
Especially when other parties are getting all frustrated and upset.
The louder and hysterial they became, the calmer and silent one should be.

I find that this tactic works out best with people who cannot tolerate people who are calmer than them, because in their frustration to push others to 'react', they often are the ones that end up looking more stupid.

Ultimately, it is not even if one is right or wrong but how one can appear 'convincing' (i.e. calm, composed, rational) when pitted against one's hysterical opponent.

School holidays and what nots...

Been a quiet week for me... most of my new colleagues are off for training and fei is packing up to get ready to "fly" off already. As for me... just chilling out, doing some assessment practises, think about those nice things that happened over the last couple of days such as Mayday's concert, going prawning and having seafood dinner on Vesak Day holiday, as well as trying to keep my fitness level up by extending the time i spend in the gym.

Been quite good actually, i can actually do another 40-45min of cardio work out after my one hour weights training with my trainer. Also started with brisk walking/jogging around my estate for at least 30mins on days i do not have training or badminton. Done it 3 times so far and think that there is a general improvement in terms of the distance i can cover in 30-45mins.

The flat should be totally done by this week though we are expecting the gate to be up in another 2 weeks, as well as for the bedframe and dining table/bench around the same time. A little stressed now about how to 'furnish' the place. I kept worrying that i will buy something on impulse and get the wrong stuff/look for the flat. I think i am trying to get wilk to do it instead because i can't quite visualize it. Sigh. Quite a huge responsibility.

Brother came back from china for a bit and took a look at the new place. Quite a lot of nice comments from him (as opposed to the folks and aussie bro), probably because we have similar taste/style. Hahaha. He loved the glass door and rainshower so that says alot.

Two more days before my new colleagues are back from training so i better get some stuff ready for them and before you know it, it will be school term again. One more semester to go! *Take deep breath*

一颗苹果

午餐了。。。
该吃些什么呢？
照旧是对面咖啡店的饭盒吗？
还是开车出去兜兜风，找找午间套餐？

暑假了。。。
平时没有时间烦恼的问题，现在是一种打发时间的休闲活动。
开始对于午餐的满怀期待，但没过几天，又变成另一种伤神的例子。

今天吃什么？
明天又吃什么？
原本是个简单的问题，但在暑假里变得很复杂。

太远了。
太热了。
太贵了。
太腻了。
不行。。。我在减肥啦！
暑假的烦恼也只有如此而已啊！

我看还是待在这，吃着。。。
清清的，
淡淡的，
甜甜的，
简简单单的。。。

一颗苹果。

我们上报了！

Hahaha.

No worries... not in any 诽文la. Just sharing paper-space with my favourite band!

Both LS and I was interviewed by the New Paper after Mayday's concert and the story came out in yesterday's New Paper. So funny! We were both quoted and I was gushing like a true fan. Way to go for me! *chuckles*

http://newpaper.asia1.com.sg/show/story/0,4136,132338,00.html?

Anyway, 玛莎 was really good in his solo performance though I wished i did not quite present myself as preferring his voice more than 阿信's in the story. 哈哈哈！阿信还是我的“最爱”！Even if there are more "manly" voices out there but 阿信肯定比较帅！ *grins*

又一次的五月天。。。

每一会在五月天的演唱会过后都有一种带着淡淡忧伤的兴奋。很矛盾吧？演唱会里让人”high"翻了天，过后心还是不停的“jumping", 让人喘不过气。在这当儿，又要背负着歌曲和演唱的结束与他们的离开。好难受哦！

哎！

我是个己理智又富有逻辑的女生，更是个该逐渐离开少年时期的那种偶像崇拜思想的成年人。我从不晓得偶像是什么，也不知道一个标准歌迷该具备些什么条件。我更加从不迷恋任何一位歌手或演员，因为我认为这是一种”小孩子“的行为吧。。。

但是。。。

我还是”哉“在五月天的歌曲里。

不过，我“哉”的还满开心的。哈哈哈！

阿信，怪兽，石头，玛莎 和冠佑，明年还要来哦！

我好像肥了。。。

不久前碰见了一个旧同事，她笑着对我说的第一句话是：“你好像胖了，是不是‘有’了？”

我当然知道她是没恶意的。况且，我以婚，这也不是一个不合逻辑的问题。但是，我毕竟是没怀孕嘛。。。那发福的原因也之有1个咯。。。

我是只没有纪律的大肥猪。 Sigh... :(

From THIS...

overview, originally uploaded by AuRoRiN & MoOoK.

How the flat look just after we hack the walls/floor, before doing anything else.

...to THIS!

overview 4, originally uploaded by AuRoRiN & MoOoK.

Finally the flat is more or less done and Wilk and I are both quite please with the result which looked quite industrial, modern and gallery-like. Of course there are always things to tweak and we are still hounding our designer & contractor to fix certain things such as the concrete floor.

Again, quite sure that our family and friends may think us odd in how our 'love nest' ended up looking but I am sure those who know us wouldn't be that surprise by our choices or taste.

Ah... as for housewarming.. that will have to wait till we settle more stuff!

Weekend

An enjoyable weekend because on saturday i went to KTV with LS (my Mayday Kaki) & a new colleague of mine who is from Hong Kong. The best thing about going to KTV with new people is that you will get to listen to new songs and new singers because we usually tend to request/stick to the same few we know well. So on saturday, i heard joey yung for the first time, as well as other cantonese songs from different HK singers. Very cool. And we also get to hear how REAL cantonese ought to be pronounced! It was also fantastic that this new colleague of mine (let's call her Ani) also likes MacDull, another of LS and my favorite. *grins* In return, we rocked to Mayday's songs for Ani's amusement and exposed her to Hokkien songs (again, courtesy from Mayday).

After which, i went window shopping with SO at suntec for a bit. Initially i was feeling slightly grouchy because there were tons of people and i hate crowds but SO was very sweet that day and soon cajoled me into better humor. While looking for a place to eat, we passed by a mobile phone shop and there, i found the phone i was looking for, the LG Chocolate 3G. Frankly before the moment of setting my eyes on the phone, i did not know exactly what i was looking for even though i had been searching for a suitable phone to upgrade for more than a year. I was toying between the Samsung e900 and Sony Erission W850i for a while but neither appealed to me look wise.

When it comes to such gadgets like HP and MP3 players etc, i am really really superficial and to a certain degree demanding. It is not like the specs isn't important (well the more function, the merrier) but i'd admit that aesthetics is the key factor for me. To me, a phone has to look sleek, feels thin and works stylishly. If a phone has multitude of functions and capabilities but comes in a bulky and chunky shell, it will be a no go for me. I can't remember the time when SO tried to turn my ear to one PDA phone to another like the O2 but frankly, it just didn't tickle my interest at all. At first glance the phone doesn't appeal? Forget it.

That's not to say that i am not looking for good function as well... the basic functions of course would be there, it is also essential to have the usual camera and video function (at least 2 megapix) and Bluetooth features as well. Since this is an 'upgrade' i am also looking for one that can play mp3, hence an expendable slot will be necessary. All that in a nice tight stylish package... shouldn't be tough to find right? Seems like everything i need is there for the LG Choc 3G. Totally love the look and touch pad (damn shiok, though there are people who also absolutely hates it). It's a slim and sleek slider (something i wanted to move on to after having a clam shell for a long time) which fits nicely into the back pocket of my jeans. A screen that's nice and big enough, with adequate camera function, Bluetooth and plays mp3/mp4/wma as well as video. Comes also with a microSD slot that can take up to 1G of storage. Heard that sound-wise, the LG isn't fantastic, unlike the w850i but i am no expert so i am not hard up on that. Also doesn't come with infrared function and is extremely fingerprint prone. Those i can live with too. So i am one happy kitty now. *PurrrrrRRrrr*

That's not the end of my happy weekend because we also got to watch Spiderman 3 on saturday night and went for a lovely japanese buffet at Honjin (Robinson Rd) on sunday night. They were having a 1 for 1 promotions for UOB visa card holders and serves free flow sashimi, tempura and various great japanese treats. The dessert was also fantastic. Despite it being Mother's Day and place was totally booked out, we managed to get seats at the counter without reservations because we went pretty early which was great because.. NO CROWDS! Hahaha.

Last but not least.. the happiest thing that happened over the weekend was that i found out one of my bestest girlfriend has great news for her hubby & family. *beams* Its probably better not to say more but i am jumping with excitement for her and her hubby. Now i'll just have to keep reminding her to take it easy and look forward to the next couple of months. :)

Moving on and moving up...

Finally met with the 'higher' powers and soon-to-be-ex-boss couple of days ago to confirm my new job title which would be announced at the staff meeting. Not sure how i feel about it but some of them looked relieved that i will take the job but STB ex-boss looks like she was eating "ku gua". So after all those half compliments, half insults innuendos, she really had no choice in the matter whatsoever since the other two big bosses basically patted my knee and told me that i'll have their full support. Let's just say that things didn't get get very pretty at that point with STB ex-boss who soon went into a lengthy discourse on leadership maturity (or lack of) and openness, while the rest of us nodded perplexedly away.

Not that it matters now... once i am 'there', i resolve to make the job mine. There are so many things to consider when taking on the job but at least i was upfront with with them about my plans to leave next year. I do think that its important to fulfill my responsibilities and do my best before that but already, i am feeling the pressure and stress at having to do something beyond what i would normally do, and watching my own rather frequent 'careless' comments much more carefully now.

Think that people viewed the announcement of my 'advancement' in a myriad of ways. Some with trepidation. Some were honestly happy for me. Some were wary and unsure. As usual, the PPGs gave their support and some even promised not to let me 'sink' into the pits. For that i am grateful. I only hope that this will not change me much and i could walk away one day with a clear conscience and head held high, knowing that i did my best with what i was given.

Sigh.

Rumbles and Grumbles

- start grouse-

Still amazes me how much things are involve in 'relocating'. Its never quite so simple as just packing and leaving. So much to consider. So much to plan and take care of. Things to do in the place that you are going and things to take care of in the place you left behind. Aside the logistics and practicalities, there is also the money to consider. Money to plan just in case you can't find a job. Money to put aside in view of emergencies. Money for daily necessities and money for all the little bits and pieces which one can always hope to have planned for but can never be sure. That is not even going into the whole emotional and mental preparation for such an undertaking.

Which is why I was mightily pissed off when someone keep telling me that for sure we would leave and yet sure as hell, i have no freaking clue where, when and how. Abit off-base the last few days because i seem to be constantly worked up by the SO. Wish it wasn't so but still it happens. Several things that ought to have been fought about and left behind, continually rear its ugly head and remains unforgotten. It bugs me because its not about the 'things' or 'events' per se but the 'way' situations (big and small) are dealt with. We could have forgiven each other on multitudes of mistakes but nothing changes on how we perceive and handle things, which makes any future issues a potentially difficult journey for both.

Simply put. We have different priorities. I plan more. He works on impulse more. I put brain above heart. He puts heart above brain. I want the best and would wait for it. He manages his expectations and make do with what he can get now. I am unrelentless and steadfast in opinions. He negotiates and always balance out my view with the exact opposite, for the sake of being fair. Of course, those are generalities which doesn't cover all the things we go through and how we act. There are things we do agree on but sometimes the differences irks me. Its hard to imagine how much love you can feel for one person yet at the same time, feel just as much as wanting to strangle them at the same time. I think the SO will be the only one who can empathize right now, strangely.

Since this is My Blog. I shall, alas, continue to have my Last Word.

There is nothing, NOTHING more irritating and absolutely frustrating than someone "giving" you a choice but then take the carpet right out from under you, the very minute you have happily made a choice. It is a weird and sick compulsion which till now, I do not understand. I do not comprehend how such a way of dealing with people can be "accidental" other than the fact that the person is just being unbelievably thoughtless and self-involved that they totally neglects and negates whatever it was that i have said. Either that, or the person is just plainly 'not thinking'. Its the same for the little things. It is the same for the big things. It's telling the whole world how much 'choice' i was given and appearing, in all sense of the word, magnanimous while i appear like a spolit brat. Yet, the real compromise seems to come out from me and the person who always said that they are compromising, ended up with what they wanted in the first place. More than once, i did a 'double-take' and felt rightly 'swindled' somehow but then, the intention was never to trick me.

That's the joke of it all. It was all Unintentional. I can frown and be upset but then, its always been one thing leading to another. So now i end up with the 'bad rep' for being difficult, you come out smelling like roses... yet i am not sure what exactly it was that i 'got' and it appears more like your basket is full. I am perplexed and irritable but not to a point where i want to make a nasty big fight of it (other than when i start to ramble and talk). As these things usually goes and as my life has a perchant to do these days, i am unfortunately 'stuck' again.


ahhhh.....

-end grouse-

Finall...

Got a call from Angela to let us know she is safe and sound in Perth, and still looking for a place to stay. Turns out its not so easy finding rental that fits all the requirement and allows for pets but i think she sounded very hopeful that something will be confirmed by saturday. So fingers crossed. Asked angela if she missed us, the powerpuff girls, and fed her gossips of school... Also told her lunch seems quite empty without her, and her 'seat' is usually the one left vacant till the last cos' for some reason, that's always been Angela's chair. I think she is still trying to get use to not working with us but being quite the "I" person, she keeps everything quite nicely inside her. So nope, no great declaration or sob-sob tale of how much she misses all of us but then we all know la.. that's Angela. :D

Dis-Closure

Had a disclosure or closure, of sorts with my boss last week when she finally sat down with me to talk about her impending departure, as well as to clarify some of the comments i had made previously in our dept meeting regarding lack of choice in doing some of the work. Found out that she actually knew about leaving at the end of last year but as she explained it, i could also see why she would not be able to share or tell us about it due to her position as the HOD. Guess i am more or less not as worked up as before, and despite some slightly 'brain-less' comments, she did give quite a lot of reasonably good advice on taking a more senior position and what the work will entail. So for that, i am grateful because it did helped to clarify some issues of which i had some doubts in.

Of course, she does have an agenda for suddenly wanting me to take the job and also nudging me to make certain stand in what she believes in. I also had to play my part in allaying her fears regarding those issues and bide my time before showing my stance. A little of a mind-game to be played but then, it is just being prudent not to show some people what my views are at this moment especially when everyone is suddenly clamoring to be your friend and singing your praises. I still think its mightily insulting that people do not think that you can have your own mind and stand firm to your own principles but i do not see why i need to prove anything at this point. Once i am in that position, i will make that position my own. The rest of them... well, they could think what they want at this moment. Hopefully, they wouldn't be in such a big surprise when i get on the job.

As for my soon-to-be-ex-boss, it is really out of her hand how i want to play the game once she is gone, and most certainly, it would not be just blindly following where she thinks i ought to go (i.e. such as being in line with her appointed 'next-in-command'). I think the 'next-in-command' has anticipated that i might be my own free agent especially when it comes to propagated their agenda, hence all these calls regarding 'unity' and 'speaking in same voice' before a big meeting (of which my boss was been rather callously left out of). Next half of year should be interesting...

Selamat datang melaka!

Went on a 2 day 1 night trip to Malacca with 9 other girls (Powerpuff girls, colleagues, ex-colleagues) as part of our farewell present to Angela and what a great trip it was. We stayed in a fantastic hotel right smack where the Saturday night pasar malam was and walking distance to the sights and great food. Our hotel was Hotel Puri, which was converted from some rich businessman's mansion from early 19th century. The facade was really classical and I love the old tiles, furniture and decor which was left mostly unchanged. The rooms themselves were comfortable and looked newly renovated. One of the room, which was a family room, was big enough for all 10 of us if we wanted to squeeze in together!

Fei was a whiz at organizing the trip from the bus tics, to accommodation and food choices. We tried the famous chicken rice balls, chendol, nonya laska, mee siam, nonya chicken wings, Portuguese devil's curry and other various scrumptious food. And everything was really cheap too! Though the weather was hot, we walked around quite a bit and i spent all my money on buying funny orangutan tshirts for myself and wilk, eating and alcohol on saturday night. I also exhausted both my camera batteries taking snapshots of various sights and people. The unfortunately thing was that while doing so i also accidentally dropped wilk's spare SD storage card which i did not noticed was in the camera bag (sorry!!). Hopefully no compromising pictures inside... well, with me and wilk, sometimes its hard to say (haha).

Anyway, good trip for all, great to catch up with WF and Zic and even MH ended up much more well-rested than her weekend at home. More poignant was that this would probably be the last trip (for a long while) for all the Powerpuff girls to take together before going our separate ways in the coming months. We laughed at how "lao er" was the first to go instead of this "lao da" here. And how even "lao yao" will also be leaving at the end of the year after "lao san". Seems funny at first but its really just the start of a series of goodbyes.

Saw everyone enjoying themselves and each other's company was nice. I think Angela was also touched and happy to have sometime to spend with the girls before she go. Can't say i did very much, cos' in situations like this, i am more often standing on the sidelines than jumping in the thick of action. Guess "lao da" is quite a boring person and has poor group skills. Hahaha. But i am very contented to look at everyone and watch what's happening quietly because it's difficult to shake off the fact that this is a 'goodbye'. Not just for Angela, but in some ways, also for myself. So I am just attempting to imprint people as they are, the way they talk, play, have fun and be themselves with my camera. It also gives me time to think about what these girls mean to me and who they really are as a person because sometimes when you are right in the midst of the action, you will hardly have time to do so.

Some of the things i found out and love them for:

If there were to be any more trips like this, always room LS & Kat together because they are both crazy, passion-filled, nutty girls that are just light up places with their internal sunshine. LS love taking photos just slightly more than posing for them while Kat love posing for photos just slightly more than taking them. In some ways LS is alot like me when i am channelling my sunshine bear from within. Her forwardness and candid look at life speaks volumes about her personality. In a lot of ways both Kat & LS are alike in both their outlook and their inherent optimism which can be really contagious (even lethal when they are together) if natural pessimistic folks are not careful. Both are not prone to show much signs of sadness to others but seems to have an unusual ability to see the best (or funny) side to any bad situation. Of course Kat is a little bit more of the shopping queen (great bargainer) & dress-up gal but just give LS abit more time and encouragement, i am sure there will be a day she will surprise up in that dept once she start to feel more comfortable with herself & more confident with a more feminine image.

Regardless of her sometimes quiet & aloof exterior, zic is just as girly and chatty as PS, which makes them great roomies because they share more things in common than they realized such as multiple-steps facial routines, the simultaneous neglect in bringing toothpaste and shopping. Perhaps the most amazing thing to me (but its really an utterly simple thing) was the fact that zic washes all her clothes by hand despite looking very much like a girl being waited-upon from hand to foot at home. And when she said it, it was with an easy smile and absolute candor that for some reasons pretty much floored me completely.

It is really hard to find anyone nicer than PS in the whole world so it is not surprising that there isn't much more nice things i can observed about this dear girl in this trip which i have not seen or said before. She was always cheerful and sweet, even when shopping for gifts, i wonder how much she has spent on others instead of herself. Of course there are times when i couldn't help but laugh about her confession of being clueless with directions (that was after we half worried that the reason of her, kat and zic being late was that she was lost), her genuine excitement when she spoke about talking to her roomie comparing facial products and finding her and zic eating the same type of ice cream together while buying things, like two peas in a pod.

Fi has a serious and mature side of her in managing her own life, not often seen in causal interactions. Yes, at times she can be abit grouchy (like me) but its funny to see how she takes the place of being the 'grown-up', rolling her eyes at the antics of the young ones, just as soon as she participates in them in the next minute. Guess that chirpy bouncy persona of hers, at times settles into a mature, firm young lady, with great sardonic wit. But most of all, to me, she will always be that funny humming girl with a penchant for white doggies (esp smiley ones).

WF looks so much more serious than she really is and understood rude jokes despite her rather prim & proper look. She is always smiling and steadfast in her conviction to do her part in saving our environment, talking the talk and walking the walk. Just being around her, a living example, constantly makes me think twice about using more plastic bag or turning on the aircon and doing my bit too. Ah, and she can drink as much as she said she can and sleeps in in the morning.

Fei isn't much different in how she handles work or relationships, in her attitude and organizational abilities. She treats everyone fairly and as independent adult, asking nothing more than being treated the same way. Being a roomie has one great advantage, no beating about the bush or having to feel like needing to bend oneself backward on either parties to accommodate each other. One thing though, she is definitely one who will be very house-proud and makes a damn good hostess. One of the most independent and emotionally confident person i've ever knew.

MH... is the least like anyone i know and the exact opposite of fei. I saw how she tries her best to be part of a group that is obviously quite alien to her and there's a little bit of the simplicity and guilelessness in MH that is both innocent and rare. It would be much easier to think of her as silly and easily taken advantage of but really, she is only trying her best to be what she thinks makes a good wife and Christian. It's strangely enduring the way she indulged in her little 'follies' like cuttlefish away from her hubby but it just bellies a greater problem of how much she can be subjected to being bullied if she does not start to understand her own worth. It will be too cruel to say that she ought to be pitied now that i saw her away from her "M" and know her a little bit more. All i can say is, i am just more worried.

As for Angela... I doubt there are any more things one does not know after working closely together for the past 6 years and being good friends for most of those years. The trip is really more for her to know the others and saying goodbye to them in her way than saying goodbye to me. Frankly, a lot of things can be understood without being spoken and like me, while we will complain like hell when we are angry, its unusual to see either of us share about sadness (even to each other) vocally. I guess we respect each other's way of coping with changes and life but its not without understanding where each other is coming from for the fear of being misunderstood. Besides, making farewell too touchy and weepy will just make Angela uncomfortable and who knows.. draw tears which i am sure she will loathe to show in public. :) Its better to go with a laugh than feeling like a million emotions are holding you back.

Will put the photos up soon. Wished that wilk's mac didn't die cos' he is really good at sorting out photos, editing them and posting up on flickr. Oh well...

"Betrayed"

Wanted to post this a while back but been hampered by a lot of things happening...

Remember i said i had told my HOD about my intention to leave? Well, at that time, she tried her best to convince me and fei to stay longer so as to help her managed with two new staff in our department; individually asking fei to stay till Sept and me, till end of the year. Looking at how stressed she was and considering the new girls, me and fei gave our agreement to extend our proposed time of departure.

I still remembered my HOD going on and on about how she felt responsible for the new staff and despite all that has happened in school, she felt its her duty to help these new girls till their confirmation and settled into the school before thinking of other plans. She also shared how she understood our reasons for leaving but said that she could not do the same.

What a load of bullshit.

Right after the March school hols, she took a day off for 'personal reasons' on the day she was due in our school. I recalled telling fei jokingly that perhaps she has gone for a job interview. The very next day she called us together and dropped the whole bombshell on us.

Yes. She is leaving.
Yes. She has accepted another place's offer.
And get this... she starts in her new place from mid June, making her last day here the end of May.

WAY before either of us.

What a horrible thing to do and being betrayed is the most polite thing i can say right now about her. She literally suckered us to stay and she happily took off herself. So much for us for trying to have some integrity by informing her of our decision early so that she could prepare for it. She didn't even gave us any hint or warning before she went off and got another job.

And you know what the most disgusting thing is?

While telling us her decision, all she could do was self-centeredly telling us how it wouldn't matter if she stay on till end of the year or otherwise (conveniently forgetting how she had begged us to stay till then and how it would make a big difference to HER). How good her new job is. How interesting her interview went. How one of the thing that interest her was supervising new psychologists so that they have a good foundation. I believe that it was at this point our new psychologist walked out of the meeting, on the pretext of getting her lunch and didn't come back till much later.

*Shake head* Man... i just wanted to whack her there and then. It's so UNBELIEVABLE! The gall to waltz in and tell us all this without so much as a sense of guilt and remorse or even the slightest embarrassment.

Now management wants to promote me to fill up a supervisory gap and despite me not wanting to take the job (second time it was offered since i rejected it the first time late last year while HOD was still 'alive' in our dept), i was tempted to take it partially just to spite that woman because i knew she wouldn't ever recommended me for the post if she was around (even the first time mgt offered, it was behind her back).

But i guess i also have to face the reality of things. Everyone is just looking out for themselves and if they could scrapgoat you just to get off this sinking ship, they would. No matter how much 'integrity' they have. I am just the stupid idiot that fell right for it cos' i believed in having integrity and bearing moral responsibility, even towards a place or people that stopped practicing them.

Bye Bye!

Yesterday was Angela's last day but I missed it because i was at home on MC. Wonder if it was a blessing in disguise because it made saying "Bye" a lot less... sad. Still it was hard driving into the school carpark and not seeing her car anymore. Quite a big wallop that says even my best friend at work has left this dumpster of a place and I'm gonna be alone. Felt like shit on a Friday morning, and it ain't the virus talking either.

It is perhaps of small wonder that i fell sick on Wednesday just before the farewell lunch which i have helped planned. Dunno sick or sad or what... but i couldn't eat much and absolutely have no interest in the food or the farewell speeches etc. Everyone seems pretty cheerful and all but man, i felt like a car wreck. Sadness and virus is quite a lethal combination.

Surreal. Now that Angela is gone, i find it a bit stressful that i'll no longer have a safe harbor to 'hide' myself whenever i am trying to avoid certain people at work. Used to be, Angela's room is a great place to be when i wanted to 'bitch' about someone or just vent my frustrations, she would also cover for me when people comes around to harass me. I think the other girls now occupying the room will find that a tad bit odd. Looks like there won't be much of a safe haven to let off steam now.

Sigh.

Getting there...

HAHAHA

Did my own little editing and finally got a semblance of my own template back.
Needs more work though... but for now, i am comfortable with it.

Ahhhhhh..... :)

Fine!

No choice... Have swapped and abandoned the template i liked so much but not supported on New Blogger. Roll Eyes. There you go.. the template i had picked from the LIMITED selection available. Comment box had to be one supplied by the blogger site. Byebye YACCS. But that's okie. Wanted to changed that for a while anyway.

Sniff.

I hate being forced.


Idiots.

No Mood

Really finding it less and less motivating to blog because of the stupid "white-out" problem... I think i gave up hope of ever finding out what's wrong with it. Seems that new IE and new Blogger isn't working that fantastically together.

No mood to update my life much also because life isn't that interesting since i got back to singapore from melbourne. Looks like it will be a while before there will be any significant changes in this aspect. Still trying to keep my head out of the water and just "survive" but it has not been easy.

Angela is leaving singapore at the end of the month. That's kind of depressing since i am going to lose one of my 'amusement' (her words, not mine) and a great support at work. It will be weird not having Angela around at work after the 21st of April since she has been here from Day 1 when i started work. Can't say that she has found me 'amusing' then, if i remembered correctly, the word 'cocky' or 'arrogant' seems to the general impression she had of me. Ahahaha shows how much things can change over time eh? We watched colleagues come and go... from a point where there were only as many therapists as you can count with two hands, till having our regular badminton and "powerpuff girls" club.. that's pretty good memories to live by and one of the things that keep me sane in this place.

That said, everyone has got to keep moving forward nonetheless. Others like PP, MeiY, Daph, Denise, WF, Dav, Eliz has all moved. Angela is moving forward. Soon it will be Fei and LS. Who will be left? But then, people came too, there was a time when Fio, PS, LS and now MH, were new too. I guess none of us are quite irreplaceable to the organization, but perhaps in some degrees we are so, in each others' minds depending on how much we had shared with each other. I wonder where do i fit into this coming and going. I very much want to go but things are just happening so slowly.

Life could be better spent than trying to make my life less miserable here. And its crazy when one is not productive and work is no longer meaningful. So, as much as i will miss Angela once she leaves... i can't say that i am not happy for her for leaving behind a work that brings no pleasure, no affirmation, no motivation and no future. Look at J now... at least he is living a fulfilling life that he has chosen compared to when he was here. And as her good friend at work, that's what i hope Angela will have too when she goes, if not move. That's one determined girl who knows what she wants and find means to get it... Well, that might be that bit of bullheadedness and all that 'nasty' things she have up her sleeves for 'fools' she cannot tolerate but at least she reflects and change when she sets her mind to it.

There will be things i don't understand about certain things she feels about people or why she said certain things but really, once you get pass those 'rough' edges, Angela is one true and loyal friend that stick with you through all kinda shit even if she has to slough right through it with you. Man... I am gonna miss her... I think all this while i didn't seem quite bother was probably because i have not been thinking very much about it (well, trying not to) and kept telling myself that it will be a while more before she goes... Well, its April now. She should have left on the 6th, and despite me saying that she should have rid herself of this org, i am pretty happy she extended her term till 21st.

Oh well. Nothing left to say and do... just another stark reminder that i have to start planning for myself concretely ASAP. Misery breeds contempt. I am one contemptuous bitch right now and ain't afraid to show it. But that shouldn't be the way.

I guess... its my time to go too.

One week hols!

After all those crappy stuff at work... i am now finally relaxing my ass in melbourne with dear meowmeow... chilling out at family's apartment with bro who is working here. Man... so cool not to have to think about work and screening and reports and audits and dealing with irritating people and eating bad lunches and being tired and feeling frustrated and all drained out... ahhhh.... this is blissful!

Reached here on sunday and will leave on coming sunday. Wish the trip is longer... man.. wish i could quit now and not go back at all! Sigh. The weather is fantastic. Lots of sunshine and blue skies, the sun doesnt set till 8pm. A tad chilly cos of the wind but nothing a good fleece jacket can't help. Been bringing meowmeow around town and showing him the place. Thinks he likes it too... am hopeful that he will find a nice course to study here but if not, there are also other places we can consider.

Just nice that Moomba waterfest was also going on the weekend we reached here (monday was also public hol) so we got to go to carnivals and saw a great display of fireworks down at yarra river, up close! The carnivals were really fun too, though we didn't go on any rides (very scary looking and meowmeow didn't want to go up with me). We did however, win a big bart simpson soft toy :D The rides and games were spread across both side of the river, one side mainly for young people and the other side was more for kids and family. Could tell the australians really put alot of emphasis on family life and healthy living.. there were games whole family could play for free and kids could try out fun sports like giant soccer, rugby, floor hockey for free too and its all supervised by games wardens who would also referee on matches and teach the kids to play. And the toilet facilities.. wow.. no complains.. they use recycled water and there were so many cubicles (no need to queue at such big events!) that were clean and not stinky! Impressed!!

Pigging out alot also and the portions were huge.. couldnt finish a whole meal most of the time and needed to doggy bag it. I hope i wouldn't get use to the portions here because i will be fat in no time at all! Maybe that's why i should stick to walking all the time like my bro. :P

Anyway.. its relaxing and fun... really trying not to face up to reality comes sunday evening.. much less think about monday... groan....

Getting Old-er

Last week was my 31st birthday, on 1 march. To think, i'm stepped into the 30s already... was quite depressing initially. Thankfully all that 'feeling blue' bout did not last very long. Wonder if there was some guardian angel watching over me or perhaps i am just so blessed because there are always people around me that lifts me right out from the murky depths of depression.

There's hubby with his captain bluebear cheery-upper despite his own mounting stress and pressure... great family who remembered and fab friends/colleagues who gave me (and my family) a nice big 'crab-bie' treat at Seafood Paradize! :D

Really made my day... to eat big crabs, talk cock sing song with everyone at dinner and receiving a birthday cake & song by colleagues just when i am all tuckered out, playing a dead corpse in the OT room. Heh heh

THANKS!!

The Singapore Album & Thoughts...

Well.. if anyone pops in to see the exhibition at the National Museum (17/2 - 11/3), you will get to see the wedding photos of me & wilk, and also our parents and grandparents blown up big big... Ah. Not the most flattering of shots but it was quite nice when placed side by side with our parents/grandparents. Was there at the official opening last friday and was interview by one of the chinese radio station (fm88.3). Too bad we didn't get the hear it over the radio later that evening cos' we were all having a family dinner (his and mine) down at Sichuan Dou Hua. Our wedding album was displayed too though i think they might have kept it after one of the pages fell out after repeated flipping on the day of the opening by other people. Abit heart-pain... sigh. Whole experience was also abit wayang cos' we all (including all our family) had to hang around our "display" till the MP who officiated at the opening come by. Took quite a while before reaching our area too. He commented that our type of album would have a 'market' these days since couples will want something unique.

Well... our experiences so far were that, everyone wants to be unique, yet nobody really wants to fall out of the norm and push the boundaries (except within rather 'safe' limits). At the end of the day, while most people commented that our album was very nice and unique etc etc, not alot of people would want to do anything similar for theirs. Guess bottom line is, while it is all nice to be 'unique', it is also very important to be 'accepted' by the 'majority' of people (i.e. parents, relatives etc) and not go 'too out' of conventional 'wisdom', especially at weddings. It all ends up with couples wanting to be special, but not daring to be 'that' special and not wanting to offend or worry the elders, hence end up with something with vague touches of 'individuality' but really is very much like everyone else's.

Sorry for sounding bitchy... but I do understand how that goes because of the number of elders i had alienated and unconsiously offend by wanting to do the wedding in our own 'individual' way... It all depends if it would be that kinda of path you want to take. Frankly, if you are OK with doing the 'usual' wedding things and really like what you have, who cares about being 'unique'? I am not sure that people should strive to be unique, just for the sake of 'appearing' unique to others. If anything, I would just love for anybody to be able to to fight for what they want regardless of what people say. And if what people say is that important? Then know exactly what you are compromising for and be happy and have no regrets that you have given up your 'individuality' but made others happy.

CNY

I can forsee that CNY will be one of the tougher period of the year for me... Sigh.
Don't know what to say except that, differences sometimes can break you.
Still, we survived and its back to work and face other demands for now.

Happy Lunar New Year people...

White and blank

Crazy blog is still being nuts.
Blogger help is frankly... No HELP at ALL.
Despite sending them emails and dropping enquiries at the help forum.
Quite QUITE irritated.
But will keep on posting... since i doubt many people read this, and its more for myself.. but but but... i like my template... *burst into tears*

Ruskie Ties!

Hahaha Ruskie ties at first place with another lovely kitty at the flickr photo contest! Thanks to all that voted! *grins*

http://flickr.com/groups/gatti_gattini_gattoni/discuss/72157594544433832/

Vote for RUSKIE!

The blog is still WEIRD... So i wonder how many people can see my blog instead of a blank page.. But if you add a ? at the end of the url, the post does apply, though without template. Sigh...

Anyway...

Ruskie (me cat) is in a photo contest and i am shamelessly asking for anyone who can，to go vote for him here.. http://www.flickr.com/groups/gatti_gattini_gattoni/discuss/72157594533419663/

Heh heh

What's Wrong

I cant load the blog!

为什么我想当“咸鱼”。。。

<<咸鱼>> - 五月天

我是一只咸鱼 不想承认 也不能否认
不要同情我笨 又夸我天真 还梦想著翻身

咸鱼就算翻身 还是只咸鱼 输得也诚恳
至少到最后 我还有咸鱼 不腐烂的自尊

我没有任何天分 我却有梦的天真
我是傻 不是蠢 我将会证明 用我的一生

我 如果有梦 有没有错 错过才会更加明白 明白坚持是什麼？
我 如果有梦 梦要够疯 够疯才能变成英雄 总会有一篇 我的传说

我不好也不坏 不特别出众 我只是敢不同
我的人生就是 一错再错 错完了再从头

也许放弃掉一些 活得更轻松 我却不再是我
我不愿一生 晒太阳吹风 咸鱼也要有梦

有一天有我的天空

作我的英雄 在我的天空 我知道你懂 知道你会懂 耶～

Thanks to leonnie...

What Your Face Says

At first glance, people see you as driven and ambitious. Overall, your true self is moody and dynamic. With friends, you seem dramatic, lively, and quick to react. In love, you seem mysterious and interesting. In stressful situations, you seem selfish and moody.

What Do People Think Of Your Face?

Chatting up the boss...

Well, I've said what i need to say to my head of department. As expected, i was asked to stay till the end of the year because of the new psychologists coming in and i need to help with supervision. That, and the fact that another psychologist here has already tendered and due to leave by July.

Have not made up my mind about staying till the end of the year though i would rather leave earlier. My purpose of telling my HOD was to get her to 'spare' me from any training that the school might put me to because i do not want to waste my time, nor do i want the school to waste their money. All in all, it will also prevent any potential 'ugliness' between the school and i, if i am to attend those training yet knowing that i was not going to use the 'skills' learnt now that i am planning to go.

The HOD knew my reasons of wanting to leave and i guess she expected it but i have not really thought of how to say it to the principal. Everyone i know and articles i have read about resigning from one's job, spoke of leaving in a gracious and cordial note. A little difficult now, since i don't quite have a legit reason of leaving (can't say i am pregnant or going to studying can i?) nor do i really like to lie. Bottomline is, i DO want to speak my mind about why i wanted to leave due to how the organization has been managed. Yet on an emotional note, i also do not want to hurt anyone here because i do like them despite their 'flaws'. Looking at it, till now, i can hardly blog about my reasons, what more verbalizing them out. Writing the resignation letter was a breeze... now going to tell it as it is, that's the challenge for me.

In any case, i have to go talk to the principal later today because only she can offcially take me off those training lists that has just been posted up. As to what i'll eventually say, i guess i would only know after my meeting with her.

抱着五月天的阿信

那天做了个又好笑又开心的梦。。。
梦里我与我一位同事来到了阿信的签唱会。
就当我前面只剩几个人时，我突然自觉到自己其实正在做梦，一切只是梦境，并非真实。
奇怪的是我不感到失望，反而打起了一个念头。。。
既然是个梦，那一切应该可以让我支配吧？
现实难以发生的事，在梦里我可以一一的实现。
就在这种‘阿信’全全在我‘掌控’时，我跟他要了一个拥抱。
说来也满滑稽的。。。’阿信‘那时就如一个手脚不听使唤的人，一面hug着我，一面表露着一幅“发生了什么事”的表情， 我不禁暗暗自喜 *heehee*.
醒来时，很开心的把着梦告诉了meowmeow，他也觉得我很好笑，很奇怪。
幸好他不是个容易嫉妒的人，不然我就惨了！:)

梦醒后。。。

睁开眼时，感觉了一股沉闷。
心里老有一种难以形容得心情缠绕着。
似如一个早已填满的黑洞，本该空虚却又累积了一种莫明其妙的感动。
让人的心不经意的觉得阵阵酸，阵阵喜，也带点兴奋与刺激。
有点想起某些幻影，某些似以相识的人，像在我梦里与我分享了一个秘密。
一个己开心，又心痛的秘密。
一个我也不晓得是否有人可以与我分享的秘密。
好想你也有同一个洞，同一个梦。
同样的与我梦醒后感觉这一丝丝的酸与甜。。。

Inuka

Inuka - Sheba's son
Originally uploaded by AuRoRiN & MoOoK.

Visited the zoo over the weekend to see Inuka and Sheba. Never really took a closer look at them so this was a good chance before Inuka gets relocated after mommy Sheba passes away. Anyway it was a good day at the zoo, seeing the different animals and caught most of the animal shows and feeding. Only pity perhaps is that we only managed to see half of the zoo.

two zero zero seven

Judging by the lapse between the last post and this one, it's of little wonder how busy my life must be. Well, its either that or that i am plain lazy. Hmm. Perhaps a combination of both. I can't quite tell 'cause i've been pretty busy, as i was saying...

So.

2007.

Another year. Another day at work. Another hour of being 'gainfully' employed. Sad but it's seems brighter to me this time round since i think i jumped in this time with my eyes fully open and arms tightly wrapped around a lifejacket. My lifeline this year will be my full awareness of my limitations and capabilities, plus (and it is a huge plus) the fact that my route out of here is planned, my ticket safely in my pocket. Nothing that has happened thus far, since the start of the school year, has shown me that my choice wasn't the right one. Up til today... the last meeting just shows how much i needed to move on to avoid being sucked right into the 'hurricane' of chaos and have my sanity ripped right out of me before i know what's happening.

I am not kidding.

It is THAT bad.

On a brighter note... i am FINALLY finding that the fact my room is constantly beseiged by water problems (this time it is the toilet bowl which is leaking) a rather funny thing.

It is impossible not to see the humour when your roof is in tatters, your walls are constantly soaked, you have pails lining up your dresser, your floor is peeling off, your toilet door looking such a fright after being hacked and cemented, your floor has sprouted a 'drain' or sorts in front of the toilet, your toilet floor is constantly at a state of 'puddling' and finally your cat pooped on your bed since the toilet's making it too wet to thread through.

Frankly. I am serious when i think it's funny.

I mean, what's the alternative? Hammering my head on the wall and add blood to the water soaking up in the room?

:)

Ok. So not too bright a note, that.

Hmm... we did have a new colleague at work this year. More people to share the burden eh? Except, more people have resigned (ahead of me)... so that's also not too good.


But.

I still think 2007 isn't that bad. Kota Tinggi is flooding but here, it's just thomson (and maybe my room). Crazy weather patterns and funny man trying to solve a problem (which he has created in the first place) by putting more people in danger but, economy seems to be doing well and my stocks are rocketing still (i'm keeping at eye on it though). I am driven nuts by my insecurities but my family and loved ones are safe and sound. Some friends seemed to have disappeared into thin air but i got in touched with more friends than i have ever hoped to see again.

It's been a good start... 2007.

:)

”麦来乱“ - 五月天

Alright, the last video i'm going to put up this evening. My current favourite song to 'shout' while driving, "麦来乱" by Mayday. Basically it means don't come and disturb in Hokkien, and a really angst filled, top of your lungs type of song where the continually love-sick protagonist is asking a ex-lover not to come 'kar chiao'anymore now that everyone has moved on.

Been singing this in the car for a bit and yes, i can be oblivious to uncles/aunties staring from other cars when i do my whole rock/roll headbanging thing, and no, it doesn't hamper my driving.. at all. Anyway, i have many favourite songs by Mayday, this one just happened to be the 'flavour of the month' because i am into singing 'rock' or 'screaming' songs now (think songs from Beyond and Fir, and plenty of attitude) and doing it in Hokkien just up a notch of the challenge since i CAN'T speak Hokkien. No big deal, just more screaming along with the CDs when driving then.

Thankfully, i've plenty of opportunities to drive alone... so i guess my only casualty so far would only be wilk. Poor thing. Not only that, he had to sit through my ktv sessions too... heh heh. The things people do when they are in love eh?

Alritey... Here we go folks.. get ready the ear plugs!

All things bright and beautiful

Seems like a McDull festival on Madness Monologues but couldn't resist after spending half my evening surfing YouTube for clips (despite having the vcds for both McDull movies). This is my favourite song from the cartoon, "All things bright and beautiful" by the Pancakes. A real cheery song and one i would sing at KTV if it is avaliable. Pity that the YouTube version doesnt have the accompaning animation but still a wonderful song nonetheless.

Enjoy!

Mind-numbing menu

HmMmm makes me hungry with all the food...

YouTube is great... love all these little clips of McDull, featuring Sandra Ng (吴君如)as the mom and Anthony Wong (王秋生)as various other adult male characters, such as the waiter here. That man's really got great lungs to be able to rattle off the menu without taking a breath in between!

An anthem for new year!

From one of my favourite cartoon... *grins*

Moving out and moving on...

On xmas day, wilk and I went down to the studio space at perumal road to pack up our stuff. After almost 3 years of renting the space from P-10, wilk has finally decided to end his lease and move out. I think both of us are quite sad while packing away the books and paints, and covering his various paintings with paper. Over the years we have seen people moved in and out along this stretch at perumal road but i guess nowadays, more people are moving out than in. It's a pity really, because we did have a wonderful time at the studio. Wilkie will do his arty things while i just chill out and bum around watching him and various other artists around the area, most of which are friends we have known for a while.

I remembered initially when everyone was new and fresh to the place, there were always activities happening on the weekends or evenings, be it talks, performances or shows opening. There were impromptu dinners and coffee breaks at the corner coffee shops and people could be walking in and out of the studio space chatting and talking cock. I was generally a spectator in all this but it was fun listening and watching others. I've also gotten to know new friends and other singaporean young artists who shared the studio spaces around the area, and seen their works. Some of them have moved to other studio spaces, while a few sorta disappeared. A bulk of them are also exisiting art teachers, like wilk, trying to balance out work and their passion for art. Sadly, after a while, most found it difficult to continue on and moved out.. and now i guess, its us.

On the way back after packing... wilk and i had a talk about this. I felt a little frustrated by the fact that people could be drained out of their passion by work and life in general but since i am not the one living that experience, i guess i can't understand how it is to have to juggle making art, creating and yet fulfilling necessary responsibilities. Still, i looked to a few rare examples along perumal road... the individuals who had perservered and felt that nothing is impossible if one has the passion for the kind of life they want and seek to make that happened. Hence quite automatically, i questioned the passion of people who 'gave up' and settle for something else. But i realized that i shouldn't judge others this way since i am not in their shoes... and everyone has that choice to take their own road.

Guess i am just a little... disappointed.

Have plenty of good memories there.. wilk's cat paintings, preparing for exhibitions, kaya toast, billy cat from upstairs, mosquito coils, sunday indian crowds, chatting with other people around the studio, reading my books on the mat, catching a nap, watching others and wilk work on paintings...

Hmmm... Will miss the studio space.. the 'synergy' (though it has been increasingly quiet) and that little slice of life away from the hustle/bustle.